I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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