I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
