Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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