so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
