So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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