first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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