i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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