What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
God, I missed his penis.
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