so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
