Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

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(713): Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight http://tfl.nu/37pc

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(409): View more from Texas

Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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(409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv

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(702): View more from Nevada

you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

oh that explains alot.

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(702): you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up? (1-702): oh that explains alot. http://tfl.nu/a8xe

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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(978): suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg. http://tfl.nu/rk1z

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(970): View more from Colorado

Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

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(970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker" http://tfl.nu/30jj

Replies (44) Good night (17876) Bad night (919)
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(404): View more from Georgia

If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.

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(404): If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs. http://tfl.nu/yiw2

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(256): View more from Alabama

FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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(256): FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex http://tfl.nu/6kmk

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(417): View more from Missouri

He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I love foreign exchange students.

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(417): He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students. http://tfl.nu/3hb4

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(951): View more from California

Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants

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(951): Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants http://tfl.nu/uwlg

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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(615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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(610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(813): So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer. http://tfl.nu/hmny

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

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(720): Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something. http://tfl.nu/z9g9

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(647): View more from Ontario

I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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(647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

ROADTRIP.

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(405): Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak. (1-405): ROADTRIP. http://tfl.nu/2zv7

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