He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My bed smells like the plague