I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
