Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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