Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
