im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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