It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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