You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
