If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize