I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
