I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
