Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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