I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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