I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
