I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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