and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
