her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
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I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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