Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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