i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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