She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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