Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
