Christians are straight up FREAKS
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
