I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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