I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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