redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
where are my eyebrows?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
