she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
