Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
