My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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