1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
