I'm eating all of the evidence.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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