Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
