another moral hangover. fuck.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
