I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
