32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
