So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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