it was like his penis was on wheels.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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