belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
