It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
