It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
