after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
