Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You made out with two different species that night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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