That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
