Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
