You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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