I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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