How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
