it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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