all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
