big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
