She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
