the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
