id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
