He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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