guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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