is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
