I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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