Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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