And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I bet he comes in French.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
