if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
